“Some here. A spot there. What color is this? Magenta? Put that there. Hmm; missing something. Blue? Ahh. That’s nice. What if, we make this blue too. Blue here, blue there, blue everywhere. Welp. I think I overdid it with the blue.”

“What the fuck are you doing down here!?”

“I’m painting.”

“No, you fucking making a mess. Look at you, fucking blue everywhere.”

“It’ll come off.”

“I swear. I married a fucking infant.”

Door slams.

“Ouch. Maybe I should get a divorce. No you can’t do that; you love her too much. Yeah I do. What if, and I’m just chatting here but what if we killed ourselves. Let’s drive this car off the cliff. No, you’re not gonna do that; by the way I think you should use more green. Does blue and green make yellow? Oh, I thought it did. Sigh. Come on, let’s go to the store and buy some vodka. I don’t want to drink. Drinking isn’t bad. You know you’re more creative when you do. That is true. Key is right here. Only a five minute drive. Alright. Yessss finally you listen to me. I promise we’re going to get back to painting when we get back.”

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“Uh.. No where.”

“No where? You lying piece of shit.”

“No, foreal. I swear to god. I didn’t go anywhere. I went to the liquor store and drank a small bottle of vodka at the beach.”

“With who?”

“By myself.”

“You sure, it wasn’t one of your hoe ass friends.”

“Don’t disrespect my friends.”

“You’re right. I meant to say those dumb bitches.”

“Can you stop? I’m not even tipsy. I’m home. I don’t see the big deal.”

“Yeah, no big deal. Whatever. I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going? “

“No where.”

Door slams.

“Where you think she going? Mom’s house maybe. Do you think she knew that we were drunk? Nah. Lit. House to myself now, lets get some chips and finish painting. Sounds good to me; oorrrr, we can take a shower and cry. No; I want to finish the painting. Oh my god… Where is my painting? No way she would. Call her, call her.”


“What do you want?”

“Where you put my painting?”

“I knew you only called for that. You’re so fucking selfish…”

“Hello… Oh my god, she hung up. Why don’t you divorce her? Because I love the sex. Ah, I see great reason. Where do you think she put it? Trash can. No way, she would do that, she knows how much it meant to me. Still should check. Fine. No. No. No. I’m killing myself. Stop it. No you’re not. Yes I am. I’m done with this. Put the gun down. Nope. 3…2…”

Phone rings.

“1…You didn’t pull the trigger. Fuck you. Hello?”

“So you’re just going to act clueless.”

“I’m sorry…”

“No. If you wanted to apologize , you should have done it when I was there. Bye.”

“I’m done with this. You should have been done. Hey! WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

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