Mira esta la cosa.
I can’t really write in Spanish.
In Colombia, the bitches are bad and the coffee is everywhere. The guys are mad chill. Probably cause, they live in a place where they literally see a baddie every two seconds. It’s honestly crazy the amount of bad bitches I have seen here that I’m like damn. In another world, I would probably talk to them; however I must stay true to myself and remind my doggie brain, that I’m already in love with the one that I want.
The week I have spent here has been enlightened. I have not found what I was looking for. In the contrary, I found out that my ideals and wishes of what I want or strive for; are not actually what in my life nor what I like. I came here to be myself, to be me and live out my dream of being in a different country. That has not happened. Nor will it happen. It is not the person, I want to be. I came here and realized that the person I want to be in the future, outweighs the person that is currently here acting on his impulsiveness.
My feelings are hurt. I learned I am still holding onto the emotions of waste. It is a waste to feel these emotions. A waste of energy and time and deep down in the crevices of my heart; there is still holes that haven’t been filled by the love that I long for.
That is why. Yo soy solo de mi.
And that is why I am going to go crazy.