Getting high and going out partying before a test is not the best way to get a good grade.
Spending your time trying to figure out what is wrong is not the best way to understand your problems. Instead live your life and make the proper changes when needed.
The people you hang out with, really does says a lot about you. They do not define who you are however they do account for a large part of you.
You can’t learn anything new, if you’re with people who don’t want to learn.
You can easily get trapped by the caveman society if you stick to making impulse decisions.
There is nothing you can do about your parents, at this point of their lives, if they still don’t see how their behaviors affects you, then they probably never will.
Change can happen. However it truly is a small window that you can make the change permanent. Most people stay in their same pattern for the rest of their lives regardless of how much they want to change.
Your appearance is quite indicative of how you’re feeling.
You owe nothing to your family.
You are alive.
People out in the world, are in the middle of their great plan in life and their masterpieces of dreams are waiting to be fulfilled all for it to be…
Stopped.
Now, hear me out, I have my own issues as do you. I am not preaching. I am not advising. I am not going out of my way to help others or myself for that matter.
I am not asking anything of you.
Just hear me out. Do you know of the bridge near the golden building by the sea? I jumped off there, unfortunately I lived.
This is my second chance at life. I am not grateful. Does that make me a dick head?
All of my birds have left me and there is no more music during my mornings.
The wolves all managed to sneak in and mascaraed all of my sheeps.
I am stuck between the present and future. I am stuck between success and failure. I am stuck between my feelings and my logic.
You think I should just go out to the casino and spend the little I have.
My dualism has reduced me to wanting others thoughts on my own situation. It’s my life, why do I need others’ advice on decisions on it? So I can give myself a scapegoat in the future in the event, it goes wrong? Maybe, but I know it was my decision in the end. Is it so I can gain more wisdom in the choice I should make? No.
I hate being told what to do. Only if that was true.
All I want is someone to tell me exactly want to do. Someone to grab my hand like a child and tell me this is what you do.
I miss my older sisters. I haven’t seen them since I was 11. It hurts so much. I wish I could talk to them. I know they would be on my side right now. I know they would have taught me everything the right way. I miss them so much. The last chance, I got to see them, I didn’t get to say anything. I did not know what to do. I was scared. I’ll never forget it. You held up a bag of my favorite chips at the time. The red Doritos. I went back inside, I forget why. My biggest and only regret of my life. I should have ran straight towards you and ask why I haven’t seen you guys in such a long time. I should have given you the biggest hug in the world. That didn’t happen. When I came back outside. You weren’t there. I miss you. You were my best friends. You showed me so much. You guys were all I had for a long while. You were the only persons who made me feel, that I was actually worth something. I miss you guys so much. I know my life would not be the way it is now if you guys were still here in it. I love you guys and all I want in this world is to see you guys again. For you guys to be apart of my life again.
For you guys to tell me what to do.
I’m so sorry. Now if I see you again, it wouldn’t be the same. Too much time has passed. That hurts me so much because why? Why so much time had to pass for me to see you again? ? I am too flawed, too imperfect and I am not your little brother.
Despite all of those facts. I miss you two. The best older sisters I could ever ask for. I would give anything to see you again. One more time. Just to hug you guys.
God, please hear me out. Take me into a life where I have those two back. I’ll do anything.
I am begging you God. I write this with tears falling onto my keyboard. Let me see them again.
Fuck you God. You make life unfair and you make it with no clear purpose. You can’t help me.
Please… God, hear me out. I can make everything right. Just put me somewhere else please.
Hear me out. PLEASE!
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