I bet cockroaches don’t cheat on each other, or lie to each other.
This is what I deserve because I’m less than garbage, I’m less than cockroaches , I’m less then the smallest pieces of shit in my shoes. I have no value or weight in my words it’s all just lies now. There is no integrity in what I say. My opinions, thoughts, concerns it all doesn’t matter. Nothing is new this is how I felt when it happened the first time but that didn’t stop me from doing it a second time now that this is no longer my secret. It’s shared with the person I most cherish and love the most and I betrayed her, I destroyed all that I love and all so I can have less of a nut in my balls. I’m happy that she knows because she deserves the truth and now there is no secrets between me and her. She should have known as soon as it happened but now I prove once again to her that I’m selfish. The one thing that I been working on and all the facts saying that progress is slow. This is it though.
You will forever be the love of my life and that’s why I’ll dedicate my life to make sure I don’t hurt it ever again and however that happens I just want to say you don’t deserve this.
I’m like all of the cockroaches I despise. I am what I hate and that’s why I will never love myself that doesn’t change that I always love you and will never stop. I always tried to prove my worth to you. Now with this truth in your hand, I hope you have the raid spray in your other hand and don’t kill me. Of course I say that because I want to live.
But I know you hate bugs. So you wouldn’t pity something disgusting like a human cockroach.
Take my life if it’s anybody it should be you for all the torment I gave you.
Soyffy's Blog 